38.5 weeks... holy cow.

37 Weeks

38.5 Weeks!

Well, it has been way too long. Completely missed March. I have zero motivation to do much of anything...

I have 10 days until the due date, but I have a feeling I am going to be going passed the due date. I am only dilated to a finger tip... whatever that means. Is that a one? She hasn't dropped and I am barely thinned. I have to pee so much! I only have one craving... ICE WATER. This doesn't help the peeing problem. I wake up every hour thinking I am going to die if I don't get ice water... so I also have to pee every hour.

I have been done working for a week now. I am so bored! I kind of wish I was still able to work, but there is no way I can stand for 9 hours. Baby is posterior and knocks against my tail bone constantly... It is killer. And now she is on my sciatic nerve. I had heard about how painful it can be, but WOW... I can't believe how it can just seize my whole body. 

On Saturday night, I actually started having contractions in my back and really sharp pains.They were nowhere near consistent and I couldn't tell when they started or ended because it would start as back pain and then get intense and return to back pain... I thought "This is it!"... Nope, just a painful night. The doctor told me to start going on long walks. I added my own little twist to it. I straddle the curb and walk with one foot on the sidewalk and one foot on street. My  neighbors look at me really funny, but I don't care! I am ready to be done and meet my little baby. 

The nursery is done. We have everything we know of that we need. I am sure there are things we don't know about, but it will be fine. I am never going to make a blanket for a baby shower until I am a grandma. We have so many blankets!

 I am so ready to be DONE. It is a weird feeling to not want to be pregnant anymore, but to be so scared to have a baby. Not the labor part, but the actual taking-the-baby-home and wondering if I will like it. I know everyone tells me that you will automatically love the baby and it will all  come naturally... but I am so scared that I will hate being a mom.. I know it is weird, but I guess I am afraid of all the changes I hear about and changes I don't even know about! It will be fine, just having too much time on my hands to think about everything!