Showing posts with label Insights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Insights. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Amelia:: What's In A Name

I'm not sure what was in the water over the summer, but all of you are pregnant.
Really.
 I have OVER 12 friends due in just MARCH.
Whaaa??
And all but one are having girls.

This means a lot of friends have been calling me, asking for advice. Yes me. The mom who secretly freaks out all the time thinking I am screwing up this child of mine. But I help when I can. One question that I can't really help with is how I found Amelia's name... And it goes like this.

I was taking summer classes in college. It was a Stuart British Lit class and we were studying feminist poetry. If you know anything about Stuart Bit Lit, then you know this was a LONG time ago and feminism was pretty much, yet secretly, illegal.
Because of this, we mostly studied a poet named,
Aemila Lanyer.



I immediately loved the spelling of her name, but completely fell in love with her once I read her poem, Eve's Apology.
Once we decided on the name, we went with the traditional spelling, because I really dislike spelling my name for everyone, so it really just makes life easier for everyone involved.

I wrote my final project for my Lit major on this poem and merged it with my final project on Eve for Religion Studies major.

 She was daring woman, who is also rumored to be Shakespeare's secret lover as well as the woman who Dark Lady was describing.

So with Much Ado (pun intended), here is Eve's Apology (in defense of women)

Now Pontius Pilate is to judge the Cause
Of faultlesse Jesus, who before him stands;
Who neither hath offended Prince, nor Lawes,
Although he now be brought in woefull bands:
O noble Governour, make thou yet a pause,
Doe not in innocent blood imbrue thy hands;                       750
     But heare the words of thy most worthy wife,
     Who sends to thee, to beg her Saviours life.

Let barb'rous crueltie farre depart from thee,
And in true Justice take afflictions part;
Open thine eies, that thou the truth mai'st see,
Doe not the thing that goes against thy heart,
Condemne not him that must thy Saviour be;
But view his holy Life, his good desert.
     Let not us Women glory in Mens fall,
     Who had power given to over-rule us all. 
                     760 
Till now your indiscretion sets us free,
And makes our former fault much lesse appeare;
Our Mother Eve, who tasted of the Tree,                 Eves 
Giving to Adam what she held most deare,               Apologie
Was simply good, and had no powre to see,
The after-comming harme did not appeare:
     The subtile Serpent that our Sex betraide,
     Before our fall so sure a plot had laide. 

That undiscerning Ignorance perceav'd
No guile, or craft that was by him intended;                       770
For, had she knowne of what we were bereavid,
To his request she had not condiscended
But she (poore soule) by cunning was deceav'd,
No hurt therein her harmelesse Heart intended:
     For she alleadg'd Gods word, which he denies,
     That they should die, but even as Gods, be wise. 

But surely Adam can not be excus'd,
Her fault, though great, yet hee was most too blame;
What Weaknesse offerd, Strength might have refus'd,
Being Lord of all, the greater was his shame:                     780
Although the Serpents craft had her abus'd,
Gods holy word ought all his actions frame:
    For he was Lord and King of all the earth,
    Before poore Eve had either life or breath. 

Who being fram'd by Gods eternall hand,
The perfect'st man that ever breath'd on earth;
And from Gods mouth receiv'd that strait command,
The breach whereof he knew was present death:
Yea having powre to rule both Sea and Land,
Yet with one Apple wonne to loose that breath,                790
     Which God hath breathed in his beauteous face,
     Bringing us all in danger and disgrace. 

And then to lay the fault on Patience backe,
That we (poore women) must endure it all;
We know right well he did discretion lacke,
Beeing not perswaded thereunto at all;
If Eve did erre, it was for knowledge sake,
The fruit beeing faire perswaded him to fall:
     No subtill Serpents falshood did betray him,
     If he would eate it, who had powre to stay him?    
       800 
Not Eve, whose fault was onely too much love,
Which made her give this present to her Deare,
That what shee tasted, he likewise might prove,
Whereby his knowledge might become more cleare;
He never sought her weakenesse to reprove,
With those sharpe words, which he of God did heare:
     Yet Men will boast of Knowledge, which he tooke
     From Eves faire hand, as from a learned Booke. 

If any Evill did in her remaine,
Beeing made of him, he was the ground of all;                   810
If one of many Worlds could lay a staine
Upon our Sexe, and worke so great a fall
To wretched Man, by Satans subtill traine;
What will so fowle a fault amongst you all?
     Her weakenesse did the Serpents words obay;
     But you in malice Gods deare Sonne betray. 

Whom, if unjustly you condemne to die,
Her sinne was small, to what you doe commit;
All mortall sinnes that doe for vengeance crie,
Are not to be compared unto it:                                        820
If many worlds would altogether trie,
By all their sinnes the wrath of God to get;
     This sinne of yours, surmounts them all as farre
     As doth the Sunne, another little starre. 

Then let us have our Libertie againe,
And challendge to your selves no Sov'raigntie;
You came not in the world without our paine,
Make that a barre against your crueltie;
Your fault beeing greater, why should you disdaine
Our beeing your equals, free from tyranny?                      830
     If one weake woman simply did offend,
     This sinne of yours, hath no excuse, nor end. 

To which (poore soules) we never gave consent,
Witnesse thy wife (O Pilate) speakes for all;
Who did but dreame, and yet a message sent,
That thou should'st have nothing to doe at all
With that just man; which, if thy heart relent,
Why wilt thou be a reprobate with Saul?
     To seeke the death of him that is so good,
     For thy soules health to shed his dearest blood.  

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Temples

I love to see the temple...
Living in New York, and even Denver, I have realized how much the temples really mean to me.

When living in Utah, I definitely took the sacred visits for granted. There is a hill in Orem, just a mile away from where Anthony lived during our first 3 years of marriage, where we could go sit and we could see the Provo Temple and the Mount Timpanogos Temple at the same time. I miss that spot more than anything. We used to go to the temple every month, and now we are lucky to go once a year... MAYBE. 
We visited the Denver Temple yesterday. We couldn't go in because it was closed for cleaning, plus we had Amelia, but just being on the grounds gives a piece of heaven. Away from the day to day, away from the world. And we need that. Life can be a drag, lets be  honest. It is nice to know that we have somewhere to go to get away from it all and focus one what truly matters. 

 I am so grateful that I was sealed to Anthony. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't made the decision and the promise to myself to get married in the temple. I know I wouldn't be as happy as I am now and I truly think that it is because of the covenants and promises we have made. Being sealed is the most important thing I have ever done, and probably will continue to be throughout my life.

I saw this video on YouTube and it really made me think... It's worth the wait.
I hope you like it.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Amelia:: On your first birthday

Written on April 11, 2012


My sweet Amelia girl,

One year ago today, I had just spent the night in the hospital being induced and woke up to what I thought was going to be a horrible day and ruin the day of your birth. I had to have c-section. Now looking back at it, I have no idea what I was so worried about. It was the best day of my life and I am so grateful for everything that happened that day. It might not have been what I had planned, but it was our story and our beginning and I couldn't ask for anything more than a healthy you. I remember one year ago, sitting in the hospital bed, just staring at you and wondering what I did to be the most blessed person in the world. You were perfect and beautiful and healthy. 

You are now one year old... how did this happen so fast? You were the most perfect baby I had ever laid my eyes on. You are every mother's perfect child. I have zero complaints about you. You are so easy to take care of and give me so much joy. You grow so much every day and I just can't believe my baby is one. You have been asleep for about an hour now, and even when I walk past your room I just miss you. Your dad and I take care of you all day, and then we lay in bed and talk about you. What you learned today, how happy you are, what funny things you do and how much we love you. We are so overcome with the love we feel for you and you consume our every thought and action.

We have been your parents for a whole year and you are alive, happy, and healthy. I say it's a bit of a miracle and I am happy your are our guinea pig child. You are so easy and just go with the flow, which is good because half the time I don't know where our "flow" is going! What I do know about this last year is you showing us more laughter, happiness, worry, and a bit of heaven on earth than we have ever experienced.

You are gaining such a zeal for life. You enjoy it to the fullest. You show me the most simple, heavenly happiness I didn't know existed. You certainly have a mind of your own and you are not afraid to express it openly. You have so many expressions and can probably go through 20 different faces/moods in about 1 minute. You are one clever girl. Watching your grow and learn surprises me on a daily basis. You learn new "tricks" every day. I dream of your future and what kind of woman you will grow into. Thinking about how I hope you will be inspires me to change myself into a better person. Being your mom is the greatest honor. Not just because I became a mom, but because I have been given the blessing of being your mom. I am so grateful I get to be a part of your life and watch you grow up and change this world. In the book The Help, is says every child is kind, smart, and important. I hope you remember that every day of your life because that is the very description of who you are.

We love you Millie Mae. 

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Cry It Out Method

 A lot of people have been asking what I did to make Amelia such a good sleeper, so I thought I would share what I did. I have no clue what I am doing, so take what I say as a personal miracle, and know that EVERY BABY is different!
It is so funny, because I know that she is a good sleeper, as in time wise, but she doesn't sleep through the night without eating... So it's not perfect, and I don't expect to ever be. I am grateful that we have found something that finally worked for us.

We tried the Cry It Out Method (CIOM) several times, but it just broke our hearts, and then Anthony would cave. It wasn't until she got her first cold and was wide awake until 8:00 AM that we decided we couldn't rock her to sleep anymore. She needed to learn she could do it herself! (Plus I started getting really bad back pains...)

I think the biggest part of the success was putting her on a schedule so she knew that when she was laid down in her crib, it was time to sleep, not play. I got some good advice from my friend, Emily, to start at nap time. It worked great. It only took 2  naps until she got the hang of it. We also play lullabies in her room during sleep time to "set the mood" and it also blocks out noise from what we are doing (cleaning, talking, watching a movie...)

She cried the first night for about 40 minutes. I would go in and check on her at 5 min, then 10 min, then every 15 min after that.  By the 3rd night, she was asleep after 5 minutes of crying. She would wake up after about 30 minutes, but I would go put her binky in and leave and let her cry. Now she goes down without cry AT ALL... For naps or bedtime. Can I tell you how AMAZING it is? I feel like the luckiest girl in the world now! I don't dread bedtime and it is finally a time I can relax! Phew! We both agree that we would have done CIOM earlier (maybe at 5 months) if we would have known she wouldn't hate us in the morning.

This is her schedule: I based it off Baby Wise's "Sleep, Eat, Play..."

9:45/10:30 (it changes): Wake up and drink bottle
11:00: Eat some fruit
11:15-12:15: Play time!
12:15-2:15: Nap time. She is pretty solid on 2 hours.
2:15: Bottle
2:30-3:15: Play time! (Or running errandds)
3:15: Veggies
3:30-4:30: Play some more!
4:30-5:30 (or 6): Nap time. This one varies from 1 to 2 hours.
6:00: Bottle
6:15-7:00 Play time
7:00- Veggies if she hungry.. generally not though.
8:00- Bath time with Dad!
8:45- Bottle
9:00 Bedtime!

12:30-- nursing

7:30-- Nursing..

This last week, she has only been eating one time a night around 2:00 AM and then sleeping until 10:30! Now we are just working on getting her sleep without eating during the night.

We just switched her to formula yesterday. She will only nurse in the middle of night, so I was pumping 4-5 times a day, and keeping my milk supply up without a nursing baby was difficult since my body wasn't getting the baby's supply and demand effect. I was having to eat constantly to get enough calories to get more milk and I was gaining weight. Then I would work out, and my milk would get cut by half almost instantly. So it was becoming extremely stressful for me. I LOVE nursing her at night, but the pumping all day is just not working out for me. It will also be nice that I won't have to haul a pump around Utah and put breast milk in everyone's fridge... It IS kind of awkward. So far she is liking formula, so I hope it works for us.

And what is a blog post without some pics... (I wouldn't leave you hanging!)
I'm getting "mommy muscles" from my 20 lb baby!

a little Throwback Thursday Saturday for you.